Ted's ability to waste time...

“Cyclocross…for people who like the taste of their own vomit in their mouth”.

I’m not sure who made that quote up.  A friend of mine attributed it to me, but I highly doubt it was me that came up with. It’s much too witty.  I’m not witty; at least everyone I know tells me I’m not.

This past weekend was my first foray into cyclocross racing this fall.  In fact, I’d say that the two races I did were my first “real” cyclocross races I’ve done since 2009.  I did a few races last year but I was so out of shape and my body was still mending that I really can’t count them as races.

Then again…I’m not sure you can count my performance this past weekend as “racing” either.  I did both of the cat 3 races at Starcrossed and the Rapha-Focus Gran Prix.  I excelled at neither but did have a good time at both.  Starcrossed just wasn’t the same since it was not held at Marymoor this year but instead it was held at Lake Sammamish State Park.  It was basically a grass criterium with a beach run thrown in the middle.  I had a lovely starting position of the second to last row.  The beach run was actually my highlight.  I could actually pass other riders there.  At a cross race they start eight people in a row.  I was in the seventh row.  That sucked…at least there were a few poor SOBs stuck in the eighth row.  Now, people who are good at cross will say that the hole-shot is overrated and starting position does not mean much.  Did you see the caveat there?  People who are “good” at cross.  I’m not good at it and my fitness is not great right now, in fact, it’s probably barely above the horizon.  That all being said I clawed my way into the top 20 with two laps to go.  If you were in the Lake Sammamish area that day you may have noticed a mushroom cloud forming near the state park.  That was me blowing up with two to go…I went backwards and ended up 26^th out of approximately 60 riders or so.  Not great, not bad…mid-pack…average at best…what you would expect from me.  The pictures you are seeing were taken by my teammate Bob on that day.  Thanks Bob. 

Sunday was the Rapha-Focus GP and it was on the same course only a bit slicker due to the rain from the previous night.  I was in a world of hurt from Saturday and I knew my performance was going to be worse than the day before.  I had cramped a bit on Saturday so I was a bit sore and my ankle and foot were killing me from the beach run.  I can’t really run anymore and when I do it hurts like hell.  In fact, as I type this I can feel my foot throb.  Meh, such is life…

Once again I had a great starting spot (<— you see that, that’s called sarcasm).  I was on the second to last row again.  Oh well, but to make matters worse there were over a 75 single-speed cross racers starting 30 seconds to a minute ahead of the cat 3 field which meant once I started racing I would have, no joke, roughly 120 racers in front of me on the course.  If anything I would learn how to pass people.  And pass people I did…but not that many.  The highlight, besides the beach run, which I once again excelled at (did you sense the sarcasm there again? It’s so hard to pick up on it via the interwebs) was the fact that I was not lapped by JT or Louie Fountain.  The Fountain brothers, first and foremost, are the nicest guys in the world and second, always lap me when I race against them.  So I’m pretty happy with spotting them a 30 second or a minute head start and holding them off.  Like I always say “It’s the little things…”

Okay, I don’t always say that.  In fact, I rarely say that.  But I was trying to not use the word “fuck” which is usually a word I always use…

I was 31^st, which was mid-pack again.  Good enough for me at this point in the season.  I hope to race until December so; it’s a long ass season…something to remember.

I’ve said for years (and others too) that cyclocross is the new triathlon.  This is a very true statement.  I’m going to go one step farther and say that single-speed cyclocross is the new “women-only” triathlon.  You know what I’m talking about…those triathlons where all the fat women from your work go and participate in a tri and feel like the accomplished something.  That is what SS cyclocross has become.  Look, I’m not being a “hater” here it’s just the damn truth.  If a mid-pack, aging, tired, and ornery cat 3 guy is catching you less than five minutes into your “race” maybe this SS thing is not for you.  So very few people have legitimate reasons for racing SS, “it’s cool” is not a reason you jackass.  Props to people who take it seriously…and I mean that sincerely.

All in all a great weekend of racing.  It was fun and it’s always good to see my CX friends at races.  Some of these people are independent of my road racing friends and that is fine, however if you drew up two-way Venn diagram of the two groups there would be a lot of cool people in the middle.  You know, bike racers…

Thanks to all of you who cheered for me.  I’m not sure who you were but there were a lot of people, unfortunately I never really identified any of you since I was concentrating so hard on not crashing into the ground and, of course, tasting my own vomit…